he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
