i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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