LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
