just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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