Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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