THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
