I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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