Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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