put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
