what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
