so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
