i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
