just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
