Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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