the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish I only lived at night.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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