i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
