I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize