Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just had sex on a roof
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
