am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
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