i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
