my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
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I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
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We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.