watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i think i have two assholes
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
