You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
apparently the secret to your success is patron
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.