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• (734): View more from Michigan

  just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.

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• (415): View more from California

  Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.

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• (516): View more from New York

  you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (903): View more from Texas

  And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Does the room smell any better?

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.

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• (276): View more from Virginia

  I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.

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