no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
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He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
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Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.