***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize