is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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