I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
