I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
