you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Vodka?
Forever.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
