I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
