You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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