I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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