so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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