once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
