nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
