i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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