Even the bartender felt bad for me
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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