He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
