Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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