My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize