it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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