He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
