im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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