you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
