The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There's always time for handjobs
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
