Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
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At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
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Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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