she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
