He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
