sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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