There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
