Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
