he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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