i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Is it because I queefed?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
