1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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