My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I enjoy the company of your penis
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
