Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
if i can run in heels then i can drive
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Come share oat with me in your robe
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize