i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize