I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
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He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Let's paint friendship bongs
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
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We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So much rum. So many feels.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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