we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
