I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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