Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  am i morally bankrupt?

  (970): View more from Colorado

  no. its just the recession

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  (303): am i morally bankrupt? (970): no. its just the recession http://tfl.nu/r26w
  Replies (5) Good night (2582) Bad night (479)
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  (315): View more from New York

  That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.

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  (315): That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge. http://tfl.nu/kztm
  Replies (35) Good night (733) Bad night (4241)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli

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  (313): her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli http://tfl.nu/6z4f
  Replies (42) Good night (726) Bad night (4969) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??

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  (805): why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego?? http://tfl.nu/9r13
  Replies (57) Good night (506) Bad night (2988) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.

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  (914): Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore. http://tfl.nu/9xwr
  Replies (44) Good night (3941) Bad night (1104) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?

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  (740): So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes? http://tfl.nu/wyhr
  Replies (11) Good night (1489) Bad night (3955) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.

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  (650): Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution. http://tfl.nu/4daa
  Replies (9) Good night (3007) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.

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  (239): gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me. http://tfl.nu/wt0v
  Replies (9) Good night (1883) Bad night (3335) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.

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  (714): It's a self-perpetuating puke chain. http://tfl.nu/kvdz
  Replies (2) Good night (486) Bad night (1298) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.

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  (304): Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on. http://tfl.nu/4qlm
  Replies (10) Good night (4457) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.

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  (904): Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental. http://tfl.nu/zhtp
  Replies (4) Good night (2211) Bad night (573) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Last time i carry you out of a forest

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  (262): Last time i carry you out of a forest http://tfl.nu/h410
  Replies (8) Good night (832) Bad night (365) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed

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  (402): If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/sm0v
  Replies (2) Good night (657) Bad night (239) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?

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  (850): Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans? http://tfl.nu/94rr
  Replies (1) Good night (240) Bad night (398) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?

  (650): View more from California

  There is so much wrong with that sentence

  (707): View more from California

  Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real

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  (707): I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom? (650): There is so much wrong with that sentence (707): Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real http://tfl.nu/wzrt
  Replies (5) Good night (845) Bad night (350)

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