i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low