"it" just moved
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
