ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize