you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic