OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
