More tranny stories later!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
